Friday, December 30, 2011

Doing Good to Others -A Story



A woman baked chapati for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapati on the Window-sill, for whosoever would take it away. Everyday, a hunchback came and took away the chapati. 

Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" This went on, day after day. Everyday, the hunch-back came, picked up the chapati and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself...

"Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean? "One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the Chapatti she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said immediately, she threw the chapati into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window- sill.

As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapati and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Everyday, as the woman placed the chapati on the window-sill, she offered a  prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway.. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapati. As he gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!" " As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. 

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapati that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words:  "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!

 Do good and;  Don't ever stop doing good, even if it's not appreciated at that time."

source: Internet

Saturday, December 24, 2011

FIVE MANTRAS WHEN YOU BECOME ANGRY!

I always wonder at how different people become angry in different ways. I mean, getting angry can be due to many reasons, but how they behave when angry changes from person to person.
Let’s take the case of some people whom I know. One person gets angry for very small reasons and makes a big fuss around it. Whereas , another person doesn’t even get angry for big reasons. This put me thinking, “why do people behave in different manner for the same stimulus?”
Well, being a psychologist myself, I know the reason pretty well. Its based on the personality, mental make up   and emotional balance of each person. (Ah!..all jargons.. I hate it.. but still , I have to use jargons so that u get a feeling that I am serious!)
Whatever it be, I know what you want to know (hmm rhyming!) . “How do I control my anger?”
Abracadabra… Shoo manthar… Let me give you the magical mantra for controlling anger! ( uhh!..do I have one?)
Actually, there isn’t a big magic .. the only magic is YOU ..yourself!
Let’s see how you can become better at controlling anger. I have made the following mantras
·         Mantra no 1: Become AWARE of your Anger-  Identify your symptoms of you becoming angry. It can range from feeling sad, pain (both physical and mental), breathlessness, shivering , throat drying ,brisk movements of hands and legs , heart beat increasing etc.
·         Mantra no 2: Once you are aware,  the next stage is to THINK . This stage requires you to actually use your brain and not your heart. THINK LOGICALLY whether this Anger is worth it. Whether the pain and physical stress you are about to experience is worth for the reason you are getting angry at.
·         Mantra no 3: This Stage is something like an “IF condition” in a flow chart. IF you feel that your anger is worth the stress you are going to take, then Go Ahead to Manthra no :5   Otherwise Go to manthra no 4
·         Mantra no 4: Once you think logically, you will understand that the emotional stress that you are going to face is more than the reason of anger , you  can divert your anger to different emotions- preferably the opposite emotion like Humour or romance.For eg: When your husband calls you a “Dog” for some small reason, you have two options- take it serious and call back him as “pig” and then continue the fight.   Or just take it lightly with a humour sense and say “Bow bow bow” and give him a hug. I am sure the fight will come to an end!
·         Mantra no 5: Sometimes, after you think, you understand that Your anger is worth it. In such cases, the next question is , “How to express your anger?” ,Now this is what I told in the beginning, depends on each person’s personality and emotional balance. 

   I will write about this soon ..Keep visiting my blog

Monday, December 19, 2011

How to Identify Your Goals



ALWAYS KEEP WONDERING ...HOW TO SET GOALS?

Hey! here are seven goal-setting questions for you to ask and answer over and over again. I think, it would good to take a piece of paper and write out your answers.


Question Number One: What are your five most important values in life?

This question is intended to help you clarify what is really important to you, and by extension, what is less important, or unimportant. Once you have identified the five most important values in life for you, organize them in order of priority, from number one, the most important, through number five.

Question Number Two: What are your three most important goals in life, right now?

This is called the "quick list" method. When you only have thirty seconds to write down your three most important goals, your subconscious mind sorts out your many goals quickly. Your top three will just pop into your conscious mind. With only thirty seconds, you will be as accurate as if you had thirty minutes.


Question Number Three: What would you do, how would you spend your time, if you learned today that you only had six months to live?

This is another value questions to help you clarify what is really important to you. When your time is limited, even if only in your imagination, you become aware of who and what you really care about.

Question Number Four: What would you do if you won a million dollars cash, tax free, in the lottery tomorrow?

How would you change your life? What would you buy? What would you start doing, or stop doing? This is really a question to help you decide what you'd do if you had all the time and money you need, and if you had virtually no fear of failure at all.

Question Number Five: What have you always wanted to do, but been afraid to attempt?

This question helps you see more clearly where your fears could be blocking you from doing what you really want to do.

Question Number Six: What do you most enjoy doing? What gives you your greatest feeling of self-esteem and personal satisfaction?

This is another values question that may indicate where you should explore to find your "heart's desire." You will always be most happy doing what you most love to do, and what you most love to do is invariably the activity that makes you feel the most alive and fulfilled. The most successful men and women in America are invariably doing what they really enjoy, most of the time.

Question Number Seven: What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you would not fail?

Imagine that a genie appears and grants you one wish. The genie guarantees that you will be absolutely, completely successful in any one thing that you attempt to do, big or small, short or long-term. If you were absolutely guaranteed success in any one thing, what one exciting goal would you set for yourself?



Action Exercise: Study the pad of paper that you used to answer these questions. This paper represents your future goals. Look at what you wrote every day and shape your life the way you see it on that paper.


Written based on an article I read..
CeeVee 

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